Persevering Over Obstacles as a Non-Traditional Student
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By Nefertiti Washington
When the pandemic began, I was in my final year at The Borough of Manhattan Community College. After a 20-year gap, my focus was to get my associates in Human Service and be an example of what can be accomplished through higher education for my sons. I wanted to show my oldest that if I could do it, he could too. Not only could he mirror my actions, but he could go straight to college and graduate. However, as much as I wanted to receive my degree, I began to wonder if I could do it.
I looked forward to finally graduating and marching down the aisle. I envisioned my children cheering me on as I wore my tassels and medallion from the National Society of Leadership and Success. The reality that the moment I waited 20 years for would not happen, dampened my spirits. Everything changed due to this pandemic, including my dream of graduating.
While attempting to stay positive during my last semester, I prioritized myself by attending to my health needs. I prepared by making arrangements for my children but as the time neared for my surgery, plans changed. The staff did not schedule my surgery and all my preparation went down the drain. I felt my mental health starting to spiral downward, but I was determined to persevere. I advocated for myself and successfully scheduled my surgery. Although I was admitted two more times, I kept hope alive, and this positivity stayed with me even when I thought I wasn’t going to complete my classes.
Through these trials and tribulations, I realized that I needed support and guidance to continue my career path. After reaching out to a previous advisor, Jean Cidone of CUNY Edge, he expressed what my next steps should be. He advised me to open up to my professors at my college and that is exactly what I did. Instantly, they showed empathy and sympathy towards me and my journey toward completing my classes brightened. He encouraged me during my lowest time. “Ms. Washington, do your best. Don’t give up, you're so close.” His words gave me the motivation to grab my laptop and charger every day. I worked hard and even attended Zoom sessions in hospital gowns with an IV in each arm.
Family and friends played an important part in my physical recovery. Their support helped get me to keep attending classes on days when I didn’t feel well. However, when I came home, the reality of how my life was different made me go into a depression. Having to depend on my oldest son to help me with basic functions was unbearable. As I recognized what was going on within myself, I reached out to my former professor and mentor, Keith Carter of The Creative Solution LLC in Manhattan, NY, Psychotherapy Practices and asked for occasional sessions. He helped me get over my obstacles. He was patient, kind, understanding and helped me to see that my feelings were valid. He also reminded me of my goals and how determined I was to achieve them.
In persevering over obstacles, I learned that everyone needs a supportive team when they feel overwhelmed. By talking with others, I realized that many people could relate and were even going through worse. I also learned not to compare my situation because my dilemmas were just as important. I needed to accept, process and not let them consume me.
In not letting things consume me, I decided to continue furthering my studies. Now admitted into Lehman College, I’m majoring in Social Work and minoring in sociology. I plan to pay it forward one day. I want to be there to encourage others as others were there for me. I know I can achieve that goal here at Lehman, as I did before.
There is help available if you seek it, and by utilizing the relationships I built with my professors and mentors from my previous college, I began to improve my mental health. I want everyone reading this to remember that while we all come from different walks of life, we share the same drive and passion needed for higher learning. Obstacles will come your way, but you don’t have to overcome them by yourself.
If you feel alone or that there is no one in your immediate circle you can turn to, you have a network and support team within CUNY. Whether it be your advisors, professors, The Counseling Center, or any college program you are a part of, always remember you can persevere over your obstacles.
